Visitor's impressions. J.T. Butler, Cincinatti

Cincinnati to Yoshkar-Ola, Dec 1998 - Jan 1999
by J. T. Butler
Copyright 1999 John Thomas Butler

13 January 1999 - When I left my Tanya (Tatyana - 393) at the customs barrier at Sheremetyevo airport a few days ago, I told her that home would not be the same to me and a part of me was staying there with her, in Russia. I wish that all of my Western compadres who undertake a journey to Russia could expect as wonderful an experience as I had. However, I was extremely lucky, not only in being chosen by a particularly terrific Russian lady, but on several other counts as well. My experience is probably not typical of most men who seek Russian wives, but I will share my story and attempt to offer as much practical advice as I can.

Random Tips #1 - Things required before you even think about stepping on that airplane. (These are strictly my own flawed & biased opinions. Heed or ignore them at your own risk.)

• Acquire at least a rudimentary knowledge of Russian. Learn some basic phrases and also the Cyrillic letters - you'll at least be able to sound out some names, and this may save your butt in a pinch.
• Bring a good, comprehensive English-Russian dictionary. Don't leave home without it.
• Prepare yourself mentally. Bring along excess quantities of good humor, patience and openness to new experience. Leave behind all sorts of attitudes, prejudices and other forms of obnoxiousness, both conscious and unconscious. It ain't just like the West, kids, but if you accept what you find at value you can have a very rich and rewarding experience.
• Arrange for someone to meet you at the airport, preferably with transportation arrangements already in place. The arrival and customs area at Sheremetyevo-2 is dark, dismal, forbidding and disorienting. It's nice to know there's someone waiting for you on the other side of the barrier. The clamoring throng of shady-looking Taxi drivers doesn't count for this purpose. If your lady can't meet you herself, make some other arrangement, through Maxim or otherwise. I usually pride myself on being self-sufficient, so trust me - you're not prepared to deal with the airport, or Moscow, by yourself.

It all began for me just last October. I had been browsing over Maxim's website for a year or so. I ran across him originally just by chance as I did internet research for a writing project, and found his site interesting enough that I kept coming back on odd occasion to see if he had anything new posted. I had no serious thought of trying to find a Russian girl for myself, and had not attempted to write to any of the women. I was having enough trouble with American females, and it was hard enough trying date someone who lived on the other side of town, much less on another continent. It was fun to look at the pretty ladies, though, and the cultural info and other things that Maxim has had online are a great resource for anyone with an interest in life in Russia.

Sure enough, one warm October day, there appeared in the new women's section one Tatyana - 393, of golden-brown hair and eyes of a deep and placid Arctic blue. I read her profile and the hook was firmly set. I sweated over that first letter I sent her, figuring that if this was going to be the only time I ever tried something this off-the-wall, I may as well make it my best shot. Tanya sent a nice, positive reply to me within a few days, somewhat to my surprise.

From then on we wrote to each other usually twice a week, and aside from a few problems with lost e-mail we seemed to have a growing interest in each other and good communication. I had planned a SCUBA diving trip for this winter, but decided that the time and money would be better spent seeing if Tanya and I actually had a chance together. We agreed that I would come to visit over the New Year and Christmas holidays, and after some discussion settled on the exact dates and other details.

Random Tips #2 - Resources for planning your trip.

• Airline tickets. Tom Parson's BestFares.com is an excellent resource for all sorts of travel bargains and information. I purchased my tickets, though, through Microsoft's Expedia Travel Network, another excellent source for flight info and prices.
• Visa. The sooner you start the better. Maxim can provide a business visa invitation, or if you have enough time (at least a couple months), your lady can obtain the invitation. I had Maxim send me the business invitation letter and then used Travel Document Systems (http://www.traveldocs.com/ru/index.htm) to expedite the processing in Washington. Their website is helpful and I was pleased with their service. I was able to wrap that part up in about ten days. You will need passport photos to go with the application - Kinko's Copies can do them quickly, but it costs a few bucks.
• Moscow accommodations - Online resources:
  1. Moscow Guide (http://www.moscow-guide.ru/mghome.htm).
  2. The Travelers Yellow Pages (http://www.infoservices.com/moscow/index.html)
  3. Others - (http://all-hotels.ru),(http://www.lvl.ru/hotels/index.en.html)
• Travel from Moscow to Yoshkar-Ola. Try to purchase your train tickets ahead of time if possible, or you may be left hanging In Moscow, I was told that tickets for foreigners had to be purchased through Intourist. If your lady has trouble arranging this herself, seek help from a travel agent or Maxim.
• Visit your government's State Department or Foreign Office website, as well as their Moscow Embassy website if they have one. You can get updates on conditions in Russia and travel advisories, as well as other information that may keep you out of trouble. For example - leave your GPS at home, if you have one.

So, on the 29th of December 1998, after an hour delay in Brussels, a Sabena 737 touched ground on the icy runway in Moscow with yours truly aboard. (Tanya later told me that extra hour wait was one of the longest of her life.) I entered the airport terminal and found it as I described above. The place seemed near deserted, and no one appeared to offer any directions, so I simply followed the crowd of other passengers and eventually found my way through passport control, baggage claim and customs.

As I approached the exit from the customs area, I got my first glimpse of Tanya through a gap in the crowd waiting on the other side of the barrier and recognized her immediately. As I emerged into the free area she came right to me, and greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek. I got to take my first good, long look at her, and she was every bit of what I hoped and then some. She was dressed in a very tasteful and nicely cut suit, and had obviously gone to great pains to make sure that she looked nice for our first meeting. After 13 hours of airplanes and airports, I felt like a rumpled bum standing there next to her.

I was introduced to her friend Valentina, who would be acting as our interpreter. Without her help, the whole deal would have been damn near impossible, and I owe her in a big way.

We managed to avoid that ravenous pack of hack drivers, and made our way to the hotel by bus and the Metro. This approach is not for the faint-hearted, but will save you quite a few bucks if you can manage it. Luckily for me, Tanya knows her way around Moscow quite well, and she always managed to get us where we were going with minimal trouble.

Unfortunately, she didn't know anything about hotels in Moscow, and I was left to try to arrange for that myself. I searched the internet for an affordable place and had booked us a suite at the Hotel Molodyozhny, a budget hotel about a step above a typical youth hostel. It only cost $25.00 for all three of us for a night, so I figured it was worth taking a chance on for one night. It was okay by my standards, plain but clean. The girls were less than thrilled with the accommodations, though, and next time I go I will find a nicer place.

We got settled in our rooms, grabbed a bite of mediocre food at one of the hotel restaurants and then took off for an evening tour of Moscow by Metro. We also needed to visit Kazansky Station to purchase our rail tickets for the trip to Yoshkar-Ola the next day. The short version of this part of the story is that the place was overrun by holiday travelers and we ended up getting skunked after a runaround that would make a bureaucrat in any country proud. So we would have to find another way to get to Yoshkar-Ola. Since there was nothing more to be done about it that night, we continued our jaunt about town, visiting Red Square and the surrounding sights.

The next morning we managed to arrange air tickets to Kazan through the hotel travel office. From there we would take a bus to Yoshkar-Ola. I figured we had to get home somehow and put all the warnings I'd read about flying on Russian domestic airlines firmly out of mind as I forked over the rubles.

Our flight was not until the morning of the 31st, so that left us with another full day and night for sightseeing in Moscow. Tanya made sure that I got a full dose of Russian culture and history. The first place we visited was the former State Exhibition Center, where a bizarre sort of wild west flea market now exists among the once proud and beautiful exhibition buildings and monuments.

Hucksters of all sorts abound there, and I got an unexpected opportunity to give the girls a lesson about pyramid scams. If you visit there beware - ropers for these scams are out in force and persistent, offering coupons for free gifts as inducement to come visit their "exhibit". This "exhibit" will actually consist of a very American high-pressure sales pitch, the object of which is to convince you to dish out cash to join their syndicate in hopes of becoming an instant millionaire. You may know better, but your sweetie may not, so be polite but firm in avoiding these traps.

Later that day we went back and toured the Kremlin. After that, as we walked together alone for the first time on Red Square, Tanya glanced at me shyly, then took my arm in hers. I suppose that was the moment that I knew I was starting to fall in love with her.

We finally arrived in Yoshkar-Ola on New Years Eve, after an hour flight on a Tatarstan Airlines TU-134 (commuter jet) and a two-hour car ride with the self-described "best driver in Kazan". This gentleman just happened to swing by the Kazan airport on his way home from the market in hopes of picking up a little extra holiday cash playing amateur taxi in his personal car. We had a good-natured dickering session there in the parking lot and worked out a deal that made for a quick and comfy trip home for us and a very profitable New Year for him.

He actually was a pretty damn good driver. Once we were out of town on the ice and snow covered highway our speed never dipped below 80 kph. After the first ten or twelve slower vehicles he passed, I figured he knew what he was doing and settled back to enjoy the scenery.

I won't bore you with details of the next 10 days, heaven for me but probably trivia for anyone else. We celebrated holidays, visited friends, walked around town, did some skiing and went to a genuine Russian banya. Unfortunately, I can't offer any advice about hotels and restaurants in Yoshkar-Ola. Tanya's family invited me to stay there at their flat and I had delicious home-cooked meals every day. More of that luck that I mentioned earlier.

I was treated wonderfully by everyone there and did my best to be a good guest. I must have been behaving myself at least mostly the right way, as Tanya and I became closer and more comfortable with each other as the days progressed. She was able to understand more and more of my English as she became accustomed to my accent and I was at least trying to expand my meager Russian. It wasn't too long before we could get along pretty well with occasional help from the dictionary.

One thing I learned early on in my stay is that Russians absolutely love drinking coffee and tea and are not truly happy without a fresh cup near at hand. It became one of Tanya and I's running jokes, that I would have no one to offer me a cup of coffee every five minutes after I went home. Our frequent coffee breaks were actually some of my favorite times with her, though. We would sit close and relax and just enjoy being together .

Random Tips #3 - Final Thoughts

• Pack as light as possible. You may have to hump your bags much further than you might normally anticipate. Include a first aid kit with disinfectant, antibiotic cream, band-aids and your favorite remedies for headache, nausea and diarreah.
• Be friendly and relaxed. Most of the Russian people you meet will be very friendly, curious and anxious to communicate. I quickly learned, though, that I needed to watch my mouth and err on the side of politeness. Remarks intended to be humorous do not always translate well, and it's easy to get in trouble if you don't think twice, sometimes.
• About drinking. Vodka will be offered with many meals. If you're a moderate, social drinker normally and limit your alcohol intake to the polite minimum required for toasts, you'll likely be fine. Russian beer is much higher in alcohol content than American brew, so don't pound down three or four without thinking like you might back home. If you're a light or non-drinker, don't be intimidated. Take just a tiny sip to acknowledge toasts, or learn how to fake the symptoms of a bleeding ulcer and beg off completely.
• Keep your passport somewhere on your person where it is safe but handy if you need it. You may have lived all your life without one at home, but in Russia you won't be able to buy transport tickets, book a room or change money without it. You probably won't want to be digging it out from under three layers of clothing and revealing just where your money belt is hidden in the middle of a crowded train station.

The time finally came for me to leave and Tanya and I traveled back to Moscow by train, having arranged tickets well in advance this time. We shared a four-person sleeper compartment (coupe) with a young soldier's wife and her baby, and the trip turned out to be pleasant and relaxing. After more Metro and bus rides, we arrived at Sheremetyevo airport in plenty of time for my flight. The departure area of the airport is considerably more civilized and comfortable than the arrival area.

We had an hour or so together to sit close and talk and make plans. We said our goodbyes at the customs barrier, a final kiss and then I had to go. I was fine as I bumbled my way through the official routines of leaving and didn't have a chance to slow down and actually start thinking again until I was airborne on a Delta 767. A flight attendant came around a few minutes after the seat belt lights went off.

"Sir, would you like some coffee?" she asked, giving me a sweet little on-the-job smile.

I opened my mouth to say, "No thanks", but it wouldn't come out. All I could do was sit there with a big stupid lump in my throat and shake my head. She probably thought I was nuts.

If you have questions, feel free to e-mail me. jtbutler@fuse.net